Like far too many, I’ve inherited my share of grief, pain, and trauma from unfortunate circumstances and situations I had to break out of. I became a mother at the age of 17, and survived 2 violent and abusive relationships. I was a single mom of three children by the age of 25, with no support, and struggled working a dead end job that I knew wouldn’t get me anywhere, but had to maintain to provide my kids and me the basic roof, food, and light utility requirements needed to live.

I met my husband, an active duty service member of the United States Navy by the age 28, and married him at 29. Thinking the military life style was the life implied when you read the infamous line of “and they lived happily ever after,” I quickly learned the adversities of deployments and under-ways, and was rudely awakened to the harsh reality of how catty, petty, entitled, and overall nasty spouses truly can get in the blackhole of military housing.

After 10 years battling the divorce statistics that simply are hard to overcome with the high demands, stress, and control that comes along with living the military life style the odds just caught up to us. We grew so far apart we couldn’t even recognize who we were as individuals because we lost our sense of identity outside to that “perfect” family and couple duo everyone else perceived us to be, something I personally felt obligated to uphold and live up to. During our separation I’ve been hit with more judgement and experienced the most betrayal I’ve ever experienced in my life and by the people I least expected. They say you learn who your friends are and how they really feel during times of turbulence and turmoil and that can’t be anymore correct.

For the first time in my life I finally had a clear understanding of exactly who I was as a person, what I truly wanted out of life, and finally learned how to value and love myself enough to set and uphold boundaries. I learned how to empower myself. From a place of self respect, grace, sincerity, and clarity, I finally found peace and healing. Unapologetically with a healthy and passionate sense of ferocity and security, I was able to take control of my life and the direction in which I wanted it to go. Life for me was never easy, and even though it took me some time, I made it.