When it comes to my rules and regulations regarding dating in my household, the initial conversation I clearly express that it’s not allowed. I know when it comes to kids, especially in the early years of the pre-teen era, they’re going to do what they want regardless. I still tried to date in school behind my parents back to no avail, so naturally I don’t expect less from my kids who are twice as head strong and smarter than I was at their ages. When they turn about 15-16 years old I revisit the conversation and loosen my grip. I explain if they’re willing to do things correctly like bring whomever they’re interested in home to meet me and allow the opportunity for me to meet at least one of their parents in return, I’d allow it. Of course my kids still accuse me of being too strict and are too hormonal to understand that’s not the case at all. By individually learning my kids through observation on how they are and act when they can’t have their way, I can figure out the most effective approaches to take as a parent when teaching them critical life lessons to best prepare them for adulthood.
We live in current times. The most effective method of discipline that I use is taking away phones and electronics which allows them ample time to reflect on whatever consequences their actions have and how to come up with effective solutions on how they’re going to move forward, to the best of their ability, without repeating the mistake made that got them in trouble.
My son is the youngest and the only boy so it’s quite often that he gets on his sisters’ nerves with how annoying he can be as a six year old boy. I call him my Puerto Rican Dennis the Menace. One day he was playing with his toys in the living room and he randomly says to me that he knows what happens when he’s in “Big, big” trouble. What’s that I asked him. “Well, you will take away the phone” he said as he reenacted a Pokémon battle he recently watched on Netflix. I giggled and asked him if he knew what kind of stuff did he have to do to get in “Big, big trouble.” At this point he’s so deep into his little battle I didn’t think he’d even respond. “You know like don’t listen to you and have a boyfriend or a girlfriend.” I smiled trying to figure out where this is even coming from and amazed at how talented this kid is at multitasking. He seriously had Charizard straight up whopping Squirtle so bad it had to retreat back in its pokéball with defeat, all without skipping a beat.
“You are absolutely correct,” I said to him, “You and your sisters are not allowed to have one of those until you’re older and if you break the rule I’m going to have to take away phones.” This little boy looks me in my face as seriously as a six year old can be and proceeds with “Well its too late for me ‘cause I already have girlfriends.” I’ll admit I was a bit shocked with the entire conversation in general and it literally took every bit of effort I had not to crack up laughing the way I wanted to. I asked him if he held hands, hugged, or even tried to kiss them because that’s what boys do when they have girlfriends. He looked at me utterly appalled and says, “Well that’s not what I do with my girlfriends,” mind you plural, with the S. Well honey, what do you do then, I asked. “I am nice to them, I talk to them, I play with them, I act like a gentleman because that’s what I’m supposed to do because I’m a gentleman, remember.” I had to hide how proud I was of his answer.
He’s my only son so I work very hard teaching and instilling how important it is for him to be a gentleman in all aspects of his life. He then walks over to the entertainment set up where his iPad was charging, unplugs it and hands it to me. “Here mom you can take it because I’m just going to keep all of my girlfriends.” He innocently says in the sweetest little voice a six year old could possible have before running off down the hallway. I just looked at the iPad in my hand, shook my head and laughed as I tried to process what the hell just happened. Some things are better off being left in the hands of their father, and this is clearly one of those things. Mom life.
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