One evening as I was wrapping up my day washing the dishes before settling in for the night my six year old son asked his eight year old sister what super power would she pick if she could only pick one. She chose shapeshifting referencing a character in the movie En Canto the three of us watched together the night prior. My son already had this discussion with his father and to no surprise he chose the same power as his dad, his real life super hero, of super speed just like The Flash. My son asks me what super power I’d pick and unexpectedly out of nowhere my life as his mother flashed before my very eyes. The its like time literally stopped long enough me to experience flashbacks of the times that boy damn near drove me to the brink of insanity through out his six years of life. From the time he broke a brand new 65 inch curved Samsung tv back when it was the newest thing a few grand could buy by banging a random toy into the screen when he was two years old to the time he flushed his big boy shark undies down the toilet of the house his father and I purchased the first week we moved in, to all the times he full out lost his shit as a toddler whenever cashiers handed me the receipt instead of him. That boy drove me crazy with that one. It’s like he swore they were one of those prized golden tickets from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or something. Maybe he’s destined to be an accountant or an investor of some kind, who knows, but it was bad.
I remembered every time I desperately needed ten minutes to myself just to get my thoughts together that just so happened to coincidentally align perfectly with him needing to discuss the most random and insignificant things almost suffocating my sanity at times. All those times he innocently felt the need to play with his toys reenacting whatever scene in his mind right next to me loosing all sense of what of what the hell an inside voice is and how to use it, those times I just needed to decompress in the sanctity of silence because all he wants is to be next to me at all times, because he just loves me so much. That split second it took for my eye to twitch I was zapped back into the present moment instantaneously. Invisibility I desperately blurted out almost as if I were in a state of shock. My son and his sister both jerked their heads back confused at my choice. Why they asked with their little faces scrunched up as they tried to process such a thought of not seeing me for more than 3 minutes, 5 if I’m lucky, obviously school days not included. Because sometimes I just want to be left alone. Sometimes I want to be left alone so bad I wish I could be invisible. But why not pick teleportation my daughter asked still a little confused why I wouldn’t choose an opportunity to be at their every beck and call even faster than I already am, my son’s facial expression still too stunned to speak.
Because I love you guys too much to want to leave your side more than I have to I began to explain. But sometimes moms just need be left alone, not all the time, but some of the times. If the infamous “That’s a good answer” clap was a facial expression my son lit up with what I imagine it would look like before giving me a quick little hug and running off to get ready for bed. My daughter just stood there shaking her head but I think teleportation would be better she said before walking off to settle in for the night. Mom life!
Leave a Reply